Control

This was a big week for me in preparations for the IMMERSION trip! I had my consultation with a travel health consultant, who told me pretty much about every parasite, bug, disease I could possible contract while traveling around Africa. I got three new vaccines and talked about what to avoid (fresh bodies of water, fruit, dairy products, certain colors of clothing, and so much more). I walked out of her office and had to take a deep breath. She kept just asking me questions that I didn't have an answer for...I could read her face completely. She thought I was crazy and at times so did I. Yet, even with my "what am I getting into?" thoughts and the many deep breaths I had to take the excitement was so tangible. Even with all the warnings and symptoms I knew this is what I want to be doing. This is where I want to go and this is what I signed up for. 

After the consultation I went to REI to kill some time and look around for some equipment I am still lacking. Again looking at all the different types of bags, repellants, clothing items, tents, sleeping bags, and everything you could ever need. I just stood there probably with my jaw on the floor. It all became real and I so wanted someone there to jump around with me and hug me. I considered just grabbing onto an employee and yelling "I AM GOING TO AFRICA!", but decided against it. 

Then I had the opportunity to be with some of my very best friends, one of which is about to start her own journey to Kenya (you can read her blog here). We dropped her off at the airport, prayed over her and hugged her tight...knowing we wouldn't see each other for months and months made us both tear up but I cannot wait to see where God takes her! 

This week has been filled with excitement, anticipation and questions out the wazoo. Everything became so real and my heart...oh my heart! I love it!! 

With all of these joys and blessings, I was hit with the realization that this is completely out of my control. If I do not raise at least $1,500 by this next Thursday this trip might not be a possibility for me anymore. The thought of that makes my stomach turn into knots and my throat tighten up. I want to go so bad, but I have prayed and prayed and prayed that if this is what God wants so bad that He provides and I have no doubt that He will do just that if He wills it. The thing I know about my God is that nothing is impossible and with Him there are no limits. So I am hoping and praying that this money will come in and that the next 6 days He reminds me of His calling on my life. 

This has been a HUGE growth opportunity for me. There have been few times in my life that I have just waited .... patiently. This week I have been faced with my own sinful nature of trying to control my own life. I try so hard to get all the pieces in the right places and God is making it ever so evident that I will never get anywhere on my own. He has just speaking His presence over me, reminding me time and time again that He never leaves me and that my constant worrying and thinking is pointless. I read Jesus Calling everyday and as I read May 31 I froze:

 "I look into your mind and see thoughts spinning round and round, going nowhere, accomplishing nothing. All the while, My Peace hover over you, searching for a place to land." 

Seriously! He was talking to me! 

So I have a choice here and I choose peace. I choose patience, faith, hope and trust. I will joyfully wait upon The Lord and whatever He has planned over my life I want to be apart of it...and I want it to be His plan and not my own! 

Tonight I read about Daniel...over and over agin Daniel used wisdom and faith. His life was threatened over and over again. He faced lions and fire, but he never doubted the power and love of his Heavenly Father. How I want that faith, and wisdom. 

So, will you join me in prayer and thanksgiving for the great blessings God pours out on us?! And if you are wanting to give the instructions are at the bottom of my page. I cannot thank you all who read my blog, it means so much to me to have the prayers and support of such an amazing group of people! :) 

p.s a friend of mine LOVES, I mean LOVES this song and so do I...check it out here!