I come back from my amazing Spring Break Campaign, where I totally saw God work in new ways, with a changed life! I saw how alive He is and how powerful His love for us is!! My blinders were completely removed and my eyes were opened to a "new" God and "new" way of living for Him. I made a choice that I wouldn't tell God "no", that anything he brought to my attention I would accept and use to grow closer to Him. Consequently, I visited a new church with some friends that next Sunday...they just happened to announce a church wide 21 day fast...here it was, a opportunity to experience God in a whole new way! I decided to pick up a prayer journal/information packet and spent the week in prayer asking for God's guidance. I decided to take this chance to find what it feels like to fully depend on God for satisfaction and deepen my relationship with Him.
So, here I am...the fast started this past Sunday, March 22! I decided to give up everything but fruits, vegetables, and water. Honestly, I knew coming up to it, that it wasn't going to be easy, BUT what I didn't realize is how quickly it would get hard! I am in my second day and completely overwhelmed. I have never done ANYTHING like this before and I am so excited to see where God takes me, but I am fully aware the road isn't going to be full of daisies, and sunshine, if you know what I mean! I would like to use my blog as a documentation of where I am now and where I will be in 3 weeks! I want to be open and real, which is something that isn't easy for me, but I hunger for God and want to share Him with everyone I can, because he is alive and working!
March 23: War on the enemy!
Not an easy day...at all. I know that the Devil is worried, he feels God working in me and is pulling out his big guns! I have this constant thought today of "why am I doing this? This is torture!" Thoughts that are only from Satan, they are not of God and not beneficial to me. I have had to remind myself multiple times today that God is SO much more powerful than Satan and thank goodness I have God on my side! If I allow God to fight for me and in me, we will win every time!! I have a lot going on right now, with registering for next fall, getting a summer job, finding a job (or two) for next year, tests/papers coming up being that this semester is coming to an end, and not eating my normal amount isn't making it easy, but I know that Satan uses those things to discourage me, to distract me...basically today has been war! I cried twice today...once with the bite of a cucumber and the voice of a loving sister on the answering machine, and another with a seeming never ending lists of "to do's". Like I said, Satan is freaking out right now, he knows my heart is thirsty for the Holy Spirit and he is going to do everything in his power to tear me down, but I know a power FAR more amazing then his can ever be! Basically, the fast is doing what I wanted it to do, break me down where all I can do is rely on God, but the journey isn't easy...but hope is real, because at the end of my 2nd day I have peace (after prayer, reading His word, and encouraging words from friends). I know God is going to satisfy me and I know that at the end of these 3 weeks I will live differently, think differently, and even love differently!
"But we have come to God out of weakness to express him our need and our great longing that he would manifest himself more fully in our lives for the joy of our soul and the glory of his name!" -"A Hunger for God" by John Piper
P.S. Please be in prayer for me, this is tough! I have a long way to go, but God is awesome and works for the good of those who love Him!
5 comments:
You amaze me! Or, should I say, GOD in YOU amazes me. :) I'm praying every day for you and this journey you are on. You are so right...God is bigger than all of the daily "stuff", and He is the only one who truly satisfies. It's SO easy to forget that. But, every time we forget that, we've let Satan win. I needed that today, so thanks for reminding me of that!
Love you, sister! GO CAILEE!!!!!
So, I'm the bad sister who didn't leave a message for you:) But I am so proud of what you are doing and so excited to see what comes out of your fast. What a great reminder that in ALL things, God is bigger and more powerful than Satan. You're such an encouragement to me!! Love you!
OK, I just read your last 2 blog entries and now need a box of kleenex...MY GOODNESS CAILEE!!! What an amazing Woman of God you are!! What is it about you youngest children....my little brother has been amazing me recently with his deep insight and wisdom as well. I have told you for 12 years now (wow that is crazy, I am old), how proud of you I am. You never cease to amaze me and have taught Chelsea and I so much over the years. In this day and age, to have Godly Women as examples/role models for my girls is priceless. Most young girls are lucky to have one in their life and my girls are surrounded by them. Each of you sisters have a unique relationship with them and you being the youngest and in the stage of life you are in, is a TRUE gift from God to my girls. They will remember you as a college student, the standards you set for yourself as a young adult, when and who you date and eventually marry, when you have kids, etc...And that example is PRICELESS to Chelsea and I for them!! I will pray for your FAST...what a commitment, we are so proud of you and look forward to reading about your journey along the way! I love you very much! (little secret for you - just between you and me and all of blog land - I have always wanted a "Cailee" for our family....Wow, I need the Kleenex again).
I thought of you today! YOU MADE IT!!! I hope it was a great day of celebration for you!! Love you and am so proud of you. :)
I thought of you today! YOU MADE IT!!! I hope it was a great day of celebration for you!! Love you and am so proud of you. :)
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