Peaches

Tonight I am thinking about peaches. There was a time when peaches tempted me daily. Not just because of their sweet juices and pretty color, but because of how natural it felt picking them off a tree, connecting with creation. How stunning the view was through their branches. How imperfect and yet delicious they were. They were symbolic of the place, of the time and of my life. 

You see, during my peach picking days, The Lord taught me great things. He revealed, He spoke, He whispered, and He blessed. Most of all He provided. 

Flash forward a few months and here I am, looking at peaches through a screen grasping any memories that still seem real. It almost feels like I have lost touch with that time. It is dream like in my mind. Who was I there? Who was God to me there? While I was peach picking, in what condition was my heart? Much different than now. The lessons seem vague, the peace seems lacking and the voice of The Lord seems distant. What was it about those peaches? 

It is amazing to me to read back on my prayers, and my journals during the times I picked peaches. Its incredible how much I need the lessons of that time today...more than I even did then. Its incredible how God is using the things He taught me in Africa ... right now. As if they weren't even really for the time there, but for what He knew I would face back here. Dry bones, weak knees, fear and short comings. Perhaps these are lessons I will always need reminding of. Teachings and revelations God will constantly have to put back into my life. Somehow, despite how big they seem at the time...I forget them. How depressing. How humbling. 

I have never felt as small as I do now. Lost, without direction. Time evaporates through useless activity, comparisons rob joy, and minds become clouded with selfish agendas. How far I feel from the simple days of picking peaches. 

It is time, I guess, to find my American peaches. An equivalent. Time to simplify life, rely on I AM, and listen. To allow myself to face the fear of silence and rest to really hear His voice in the wind. To go forward with blind obedience and to remember the peace of the peaches. 

Dry Bones

Wow. It's impossible to know where to begin in the description of my time in Mozambique.

Challenging? Yes.
Rewarding? Incredibly so.
Struggle? Everyday.

I lived with a woman named Adelaide. She is 67 and caring for many people. Everyday we had different people coming and going, eating and sleeping. I had a sister, Helena who was twenty and with her comes my itty bitty nephew. And then there were my brothers. Five living with us and multiple stopping by to say hi. It was a three "room", thatched roof, mud-brick home. Simple with most of the living taking place outside on the veranda on the mat. What I did? Now that's funny. It seems intangible almost to think about. Activities like sitting, watching, observing, learning, helping and just simply living occupied my day. It was hard. Extremely hard. There were moments that my attitude was and is still shameful. My journal reads a story that every page is night and day from one another. Moments of such joy and contentment and others of anger and frustration. All of this can be put into another blog, but I have to set up what I want to write about. Dry bones.

For many days as I flipped through the pages of my bible I ran face to face with Ezekiel. Never stopping for more than a split second, just enough to downplay its relevance. Until one day I stopped. Ezekiel 37. The Valley of Dry Bones. I read and wept.

 "son of man, can these bones live?"

Suddenly I was aware of what The Lord had been asking me all along. I could see his gentle smirk as I complained, groaned, cried and pouted at my circumstances. "son of man, can these bones live?" He was testing the amount of trust I held that He could turn this situation into something God breathed. He wanted to know if I trusted Him give it life. Did I believe?

As I read on I was jumping and giddy with excitment as my eyes grazed over the story of God raising an "exceedingly great army" from a valley filled with dead, dry, bones. He did it!!! He is awesome! What can stop our Lord? What can't He do? I found myself smitten, completely in awe of this Father who in His power you see His great love, nurture and provision.

I knew it wasnt accidental that as I read this passage I felt as if my day to day existence was dry and often dead. I couldn't do anything like I wanted to. I was totally and utterly dependent on the people. I felt burdensome and needy. I couldn't talk to them, I couldn't form relationship how I wanted. I couldn't serve the way I saw fit because their ways were so different from anything I had ever done. All I could do was sit, muster a smile and let them serve me. So many times as I went about the day I heard a gentle whisper, "son of man, can these bones live?" I knew who it was from and who it was for.

So I am left here in a place of wonder. I am sure you're wanting an end to this story. A beautiful wrap up of an incredible Holy Spirit encounter that made everything make sense. Well, I am sorry to say that didn't happen. No big change of events, no miraculous healing or crazy stories of impossible communication made possible. I still just sat, I remained silent, I helped when I could, smiled as often as possible and prayed every night for God to change my heart. And you know what I may never know if he did. I do know he rescued me time and time again, breathing life into my bones. I have no idea if I was apart of any change in the lives of those people. No clue if they will even remember me in ten years. I may have offended people or missed opportunities for service. I dropped the ball over and over. Yet, every morning breath. Every morning a gentle whisper "son of man, can these bones live?" and each day life was breathed into my dry, dead bones...just for the day, or for moments of the day, yet I always knew He was near. I constantly felt His presence, I felt His life begging me to believe. 

Here are some pictures to give you a glimpse into the sights of Mozambique. It is a beautiful place, with great potential. There is hope. There is life to be breathed. There is an army to rise up. 

My mom, sister, and nephew preparing the Cassava for dinner. 

My house!

The beautiful landscape.

My teammate's host brother proudly displaying his new bike!

My host mom washing dishes!

Me and my nephew...my hope at the end of each day as he would fall asleep in my arms.

My neighbors.

One of the many little girls who would come visit me daily.

Another little girl who lived nearby and would come visit. 

Morano, my little brother! 

My older brother! 

My host mom with a friend just visiting on the mat.

Never Once

At a ripe 6 years old, his life intertwined with the streets and the life it brings. Bored and searching for adventure, he races with cars and dodges in and out of bushes and secret hiding places. His tummy begins to growl and the search for food ensues. Bath water and breakfast are as infrequent as goodnight kisses and good morning hugs. His clothes seem to have protested soap and his shoes are playing out the seen of David and Goliath. House slippers against the rough streets of Lambert's Bay, South Africa.

People see this boy and furrow their brows. "poor child," they mutter, shaking their heads, "shame". Their day goes on as usual, and his without consistency. Others see him and yell from their stoops "go home!" "where is your mother?!". He runs to avoid another confrontation. The race continues, the game goes on. Survival.

Never once.

After a long day of playing with moving vehicles and hiding from adults. His day ends after dark on his lonely journey home. Mom represent the woman passed out at the assigned address where he sleeps. He has been gone since the sun came up and is home way past the sun's departure, but no worry has passed through her mind. It would be a wonder if he, even, passed through her mind. He is 6, life is a game and the goal is to hide and survive.

Never once.

See, I know this boy. He has a face, he has a smile that could brighten up New York City in a blackout. He has a heart that's being lied to and a mind that is being underutilized. On occasion he attends school, but since no one asks, those occasions are rare. Two times has he step foot in a church. Both were in the last two weeks of his life. We see him everyday roaming the streets and he plays with us, laughs, runs, jumps and eats everything he can actually get his hands on...and doesn't stop until its gone. Tonight I got to play with this boy. The sun was setting and we were waiting for youth to start, the play ground was screaming for attention and I followed behind him to the swings. At first I was spinning him around, and then pushing him as high as I could muster. I'd tickle him as the pendulum he was riding moved towards me and laughter came flowing. Straight from the belly. The way every six year old should laugh. I could tell the stress of his day was gone and for once that day he got to be a kid. I prayed for The Lord's shield to wrap around him. I sang Jesus Loves Me, which I never fully understood until that moment.

Never once.

I may not change this boys life in the few weeks I am here. Our group may not have any effect on his outcome. And that's a hard pill to swallow. However, we will encourage a community to rise up and claim those children. To fight for those kids, to change not only his life but the countless others whose parents care more for alcohol and drugs then the innocent lives they are responsible for. More so, I know never once has this boy ever walked alone. His mother may not even know what he ate today, or what he wore or where he spent his time, but His heavenly father does! His father knows every hair, every thought, he knows his favorite hiding spots. He knows how fast he can run, how high he can jump and how much he loves sweets. He knows because He was there. This boy has never walked alone and he never will. His life is impossible and I don't know how he finds the strength and I know with the coming years it will only get harder, but I know His father will be faithful. I pray with my entire, helpless, hopeful heart that this boy will know the love of His father. I pray that his spirit longs for God, that he won't be satisfied with any other thing and that the power of that longing will bring him to The Answer. That one day he will look back and realize he never walked alone, never once.

Just the Beginning

It's been awhile, huh? We are so busy here that I haven't had the chance to sit down and process a blog. So here is my feeble attempt at expressing to you what a week and a half in South Africa has been like.

I am living with a host family here in Lambert's Bay, a sweet, sweet single lady and her brother. It's a quiet, lovely home complete with a guard dog that has become my little buddy. During the day we partner with a community program named Huis Van Liefde (house of hope), in the morning we go out with caretakers on home visits. They check in on elderly patients who need help bathing and they also check meds, help them find better care and make sure their blood pressure is okay. We spend about 4 hours walking around the town visiting with people and getting to know the caretakers. Then we help with meals on wheels, or go to a local preschool to play with the kids. Then it's lunch and after lunch we go to a gym here in town to sit in on Stepping Stones, a counseling service for the youngsters. Monday, Wednesday and Friday are for the boys and Tuesday and Thursday's are for the girls. Here they talk a lot about drugs, alcohol, abuse and safe sex. Although its all in Afrikaans, I can see its doing great work. After the session, Mirki, the leader, instructs us in Tae Bo, it's a great way to get some energy out and promote healthy activity. I don't have any pictures of this time because I am waiting to build good relationships before I take pictures. I never want them to feel like they are living in a zoo. Ya know what I mean?

The problems in this community are mainly dealing with drugs and alcohol. Parents spend their money on their drink of choice over their children's school. The children roam the streets and find trouble of their own. Kids start drinking and doing drugs at about 7-9 years old and start having sex soon after. It's a big problem around here. I think one of the most telling times, was an afternoon I spent at the preschool. The boys out on the playground were constantly fighting, I mean really fighting not normal boy wrestling. Choking, punching, kicking, tackling, and head butting. We soon figured out that they were coping wrestlers they have seen on tv. Once we showed them some positive attention it seemed to decrease, but it just one indicator of the lack of care in the parenting. Children interact what they see, and it's evident there are problems going on. One little boy as I was playing with them make the motion of smoking weed...something I am sure he is used to seeing. Kids are being sold as prostitutes for drug money, and the government grants people are receiving for not having jobs or raising kids alone aren't used for the kids at all. Along side the problems are those people who want change, the teenagers we hangout with that want to be the change, and the churches that are daily involved in the change. It isn't hopeless, not at all. Here there is hope of a future different from the past. There is hope of restoration and it's my prayer for this community. Everyday we spend here relationships are deepened. We have earned their trust, become their friends and lived beside them. It is my prayer that as more time goes by, the more they see Him, the more opportunities we have to share His hope and the more encouragement and passion is shared.

Thanks for all your prayers!! Keep em coming! :) hopefully I'll be able to post some pictures soon!

Top Three on the Rez

What is happening?! 

This can't be real...but wait, IT IS! 

So I am on my flight to Amsterdam and from there on to Cape Town! I will be in Africa...not for a week or two, not even for a month. FIVE MONTHS. Words can't even describe the simple joy I have. Joy in knowing I will have the privilege to meet and live life with amazing people and all for the glory of the immense, intimate, loving and sovereign God we serve! 

So before I get ahead of myself and start talking about the future. Let's wrap up the last few weeks. So here goes some of my FAVORITE memories: 

The Bug Book: so this one is a bit silly but it's still great! So we stayed at this one place for just a couple of night's and there was a book on bugs. It was pretty old and barely kept together by some tape. Page after page there were detailed descriptions of various bugs. So looking for something to do one night, I picked up the book and began to read. Now, I can't read a bug book in a normal voice. So I brought out old theater self and chose an adequately awkward and funny voice. The real fun began when Emily would start to match my words, reading along with me without looking at the book. It was late, we were bored and so we lost it. As we read about Assassin Bugs who suck blood from their victims we basically rolled on the floor laughing and crying.  

The Rez Hot Tub: So at the church in Bisti there is no running water. So they have a water truck to fill up at a nearby well. The water from the well is 102 degrees. Hot! So one night we decided we would make our own hot tubs. So we gathered large watermelon boxes, lined it with a tarp and filled it up with well water. As we were waiting for the scorching water to cool a bit, rain began to POUR. This rain was freezing so as we are all standing around screaming from the chilly drops pelting our faces, we hopped in the boxes and quickly began to ask each other questions and play games. Most of the time laughing and repeating "is this really happening?!" 

Trips to Farmington: while working at the church in Bisti, there were a couple of nights we had to go into town for supplies. So Emily, Mark, Trent and I piled in a rented minivan and took off down the road. What would have been a boring trip to Home Depot for the boys turned into a exciting adventure thanks to me and Emily. I could say too much about this trip so I'll just give you some key words. Wicked Soundtrack, hats, pink rugs, Redi-whip, senior pictures, Michael Buble', stars and Stacee. :) 

So I understand if all of this seems crazy, silly and pointless, but just know I've been having so much fun and I am so thankful to look back through h journal entries and see how The Lord has already answered SO many of my prayers. He has listened to my prayers for peace, joy, love and passion and I cannot wait to get to Africa! :) eeeek!! 

Rez Life

Take highway 371 from Farmington turn right at mile marker 75, follow the curves of the dirt road and watch out for wash outs. Take a right and then a left and you've found it. There is the church in Bisti. The church that has opened its doors for me and for countless others.

{Praise be to you,Lord, for this little church in Bisti! Praise The Lord for the time I've spent here and how it's prepared me for what is to come in my life.}

Inside this little building I mopped, I swept, cleaned outhouses, washed dishes, hauled water, prepared meals and shook many hands. Here I learned to sing in Navajo, say hi and bye, I learned that God receives glory in all situations, that God provides even for the simplest needs. Through the people I learned how God changes lives, speaks every language and restores all situations. They taught me how to pray with purpose and that sharing your testimony with your community is healing and bonding. In this little building I met people that I will keep with me forever, conversations I will treasure and memories I'll laugh about for years to come. It was here God revived my spirit.

{I pray blessing over this place. That the days to come will bring restoration to a community and that you, lord, will break chains of poverty, break chains of shame, break chains of pain. You O God are loving and you O Lord are good. }

My time on the "Rez" has been so special. I can feel the lord tugging me, I can feel him inviting me to experience more with him. I know He is guiding me through change and growth. He is encouraging me to be intentional In relationships and to put into practice grace and love even when it's hard. These coming months are going to be more challenging then I had expected, but I have no doubt they will be some of the riches I've ever experienced. He is here!! He is working, molding and preparing and I am so honored to serve the King of Kings who longs to use me despite my complete inability!

Praise the Lord!!

Here We Go

Hey everybody!  So I wanted to be sure and post a blog before we leave for our first community! Tonight we are heading to a town to fellowship with them and then tomorrow morning we head off to visit a remote church to serve the children with a vacation bible school. This church was been wanting people to come out and visit for FOUR years and no plans have come through. So no one hesitated when we were asked if we wanted to end training early and head out there to help! We may be putting on a VBS and have a blast with the kiddos but we are there for more.  We've been talking all week how our goal as a team, and the goal of Experience Mission is to go into communities and mutually give and receive. We want to work side by side getting to know the people and what they need not what we think they need. It's this whole idea that can get lost in missions. As time conscious Americans, we can trump the spirit of a place by going in with our ideas, our perceptions and allow our wealth to creat this hierarchy. This team aims to work shoulder to shoulder to assist these people better their own community while showing them the incredible love of Christ.  Then after we spend a few days at this church we are heading out to a different community where we will be camping out at a Navajo Reservation Tent Revival. We are STOKED! This will be a crazy experience as we sleep out on the ground and everyday watch people come in to praise God and hear His stories. I've never been apart of a tent revival and I am so excited to get to meet people and hear their stories!  Backing up a little, I want to talk a bit about my last few days here. Training has consisted of many sessions of challenging thinking, beautiful testimonies and growth! I have really loved it and feel so blessed to be here. My teammates are all so great and have made this feel just so comfortable. They are some amazing people who I have a lot to learn from! I have been stretched already and I cannot wait to see what all God has planned but I desire to just take everything day by day and just be.  Thank you all again for helping me get here! It's an awesome experience already and I just feel like I should be pinched! Please continue to pray for me and my teammates, as well as, the communities we are entering. I don't know when I'll get to blog again but I am super excited to tell the stories of what we encounter!